A Simple Way to Overcome Confrontation
Dear Friend,
Have you ever been worried about confronting your boss? Confronting a friend? Confronting a loved one? Or confronting a client?
Most of us have at some point worried or stayed as far away as possible from confrontation. If you are familiar with the Enneagram, then you know that you may be a number 9 if you try to stay clear of confrontation.
The main challenge with avoiding confrontation is that those who do this experience one of the two following issues, as a result of avoiding the confrontation, either you are also avoiding really going for your true desires, worried about not being worthy or because you try to avoid confrontation you attract confrontation wherever you go because you are resisting it.
Ultimately we fear confrontation with little understanding as to its true meaning.
So the first step to overcoming confrontation is to dive into what confrontation really is.
Confrontation, put simply, is disagreement. Disagreement represents differing opinions about a topic that also brings with it anger or frustration from both sides. For example, the war between Iraq and the United States has some disagreement with anger and/or frustration from both sides. And it should be noted that ultimately, disagreements result in misunderstandings that cause the situation to go from bad to worse.
The question here for most of is how can we overcome our fear of confrontation?
Dale Carnegie summed it up best when he said, "Seek to understand, then to be understood."
And then respect/honour other people's opinions.
When we are deliberate with our intentions, and seek to understand where another is coming from and why they may feel the way they do and understand what they may be going through, we shift into a place of openness and receptivity rather than resistance and bitterness. We then no longer resist them and instead respect them and their opinion.
Once this takes place, there are then four possible outcomes for the two individuals involved in a confrontation:
1. Person A shifts his/her viewpoint in light of Person B
2. Person B shifts his/her viewpoint in light of Person A
3. Both individuals stay clear within their own viewpoints and they reach a stale mate resulting in a lose/lose situation with both completely stopped and as a result neither moves forward
4. The two leave the relationship to find others that are more in alignment with their own viewpoint
5. The two both honour each other's opinions and choices and as a result work together - we call this partnership and communication through giving and receiving
Imagine where the world would be if we followed through on option number 5.!
Imagine where you could be if you followed option number 5. more often with your spouse, children, friends, co-workers or staff!
I hope this e-zine inspires you to seek to understand, then to be understood, and then to respect and honour other's opinions... I know that if you do, if you are not already doing this, you will experience greater connections and much less resistance than ever before.
If you are going through a challenge that you feel requires a third party then I am also happy to offer my services in arbitration or mediation. A third party is often very helpful to bring fresh ideas to the table and to help the two confronting parties to begin moving forward together again.
Until next time, may your relationships with others and within your Self,
be open and inspired!
Warmly,
Joshua
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May 18, 2006 Issue 41
How to Conquer Fear in 3 Minutes or Less - read article
April 6, 2006 Issue 38
A Simple Way to Overcome Confrontation - read article
February 23, 2006 Issue 36
The Adventure of One -- What is Synchronicity Really? - read article
December 1, 2005 Issue 30
How You Can Create Abundance and Love Throughout the Holidays - read article
August 25, 2005 Issue 26
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August 4, 2005 Issue 24
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July 28, 2005 Issue 23
Which do you choose... Discipline or Inspiration?... find out more...
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July 14, 2005 Issue 22
Find Your True Calling and Purpose - read article
June 9, 2005 Issue 19
Lessons From the Kitchen - read article
June 2, 2005 Issue 18
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May 12, 2005 Issue 17
How to Create Your Very Own Personal Mantra and Affirmation - read article
March 31, 2005 Issue 14
Practicing Compassion - read article
March 17, 2005 Issue 13
Are We Really Alone? - read article
March 3, 2005 Issue 11
What do adventure and contribution have in common? - read article |
